Fakers: Keeping The Spirit Of Punk Alive

Earlier today I had the wonderful opportunity to interview Alex Sabey, vocalist for Derby punk band Fakers. I’ve had the privilege of sharing the stage with Fakers when we played the same bill at SOUPFEST 2022 and after hearing the bands new single “Idiot Box” I jumped at the chance to interview them. Below is the transcript of our conversation.

Oscar: So, Fakers, Derby punk n roll. What defines Fakers? Who are you and what is your mission statement?

Fakers: WE ARE FAKERS! We wanna keep PUNK ROCK N ROLL alive, have fun, play music we love, and keep it authentic (the name was a bit of a joke in that way haha).

Oscar: You’ve recently released a single “Idiot Box”. What was that experience like?

Fakers: It was great, it’s amazing to get some music out there and we’re really happy with the way the recording sounds! Jay Dean did a great job with the mixing and recording, capturing the live sound we wanted and Joe Caithness brought everything out perfectly in the mastering. Doing it at the new Dubrek was also a bonus (I think we were the first to record there).

Oscar: As a part of Derby’s music scene, I’ve always felt it’s underestimated by outsiders, often being compared to Nottingham or Leicester. How do you feel about Derby?

Fakers: I think the Derby scene is hard to measure in a way, there seems to be pockets of musicians, like little scenes, but there doesn’t seem to be any kind of major scene I can think of. I think it’s hindered by the lack of venues in Derby for new or unknown independent bands/artists to play. But there’s some great bands that Derby has to offer.

Oscar: Do you have plans to conquer the world with Raw Power? (Pun intended)

Fakers: Of course haha, we want to reach as many people as possible with our music and freak em out, but our main aim is to have fun, there’s no point if there’s no fun (no fun, my babe, no fun).

Oscar: Fakers have a very old school punk style, what is it like to be playing that sort of music 40 years after it was initially popular?

Fakers: I’m just glad that kind of music is still around, there’s band like Amyl and The Sniffers which we’re fans of that have a similar raw punk rock n roll energy and sound. It’ll never die, there’s always gonna be kids in their garage bashing out power chords and annoying the neighbours.

Oscar: Any words of encouragement for punks young and old who are getting into playing music?

Fakers: You can do it! Just keep going, if you can’t play a certain chord just yet, then write a song with the chords you can play or play power chords. Don’t hold back, just go for it, the only thing stopping you is yourself. As long as you’re having fun and do it for yourself, because you want to, then you’re a winner.

Oscar: Thanks so much for your time. Any final words to my readers?

Fakers: Keep an eye out on our social media (@fakersofficial – insta, fb @fakersband – twitter), we’re always making new announcements of gigs and we’ve plenty of surprises to come.

Fakers: Upcoming gigs (for the next couple of weeks)
Dot to Dot (The Angel 2pm) – Sun 29th May
Chameleon – Weds 8th June

Fakers: Cheers for the interview!

I really enjoyed having this chat with Alex, even if it was only via text, let me know if you’d like me to do some interviews in person? For now, check out Fakers and as always…

Peace, Love & Cowbells,


Autism & Normality

There’s that thing people say.

“There’s no such thing as normal”

It is a quote so infuriating and demeaning to me. When people say that I feel that my entire lifetime of disability and discrimination is being discounted. I understand the meaning behind the phrase. Normality is seemingly a social construct, and every single person on this planet is different. I accept this as the truth. But difference and oddity mean two separate things. And what is odd is entirely subjective to each person. So why am I discussing this seemingly unquantifiable subject?

As my readers will know, I am diagnosed with Autistic Spectrum Disorder, it has effected me my whole life and I have been through countless trials and tribulations because of it. It was only when I was diagnosed at the age of twenty that I had even some idea of why I am the way I am. Autism is a condition that effects everyone differently, some of us are mute, some of us are socially awkward, some of us are strictly logical and rigid, some of us are all of that and more. I’m still discovering exactly which parts of myself are due to autism and what is due to outside factors. But as anyone who knows me will tell you, I am highly emotional, and that is the defining factor of my personality. But while I’m not overly logical or rigid in my ways, I’m more of a hot mess than anything else, certain things I do think of in a logical sense. For example when someone dies I don’t feel anything. Autistic people are famous for lacking empathy but that is a misconception, true we have a tendency to be blunt, but I can say as an autistic person I’m extremely empathetic to many different things. But death for me is a simple fact, a logical certainty. So why, with all the other concerns I my life, would I worry about it?

Another way my brain works logically is through classification and judgement. Autistic people are prone to seeing or creating patterns in things most people can’t. I can look at a seemingly tangled bush and pick out entire shapes and images within a few seconds. The same is true for people. I walk down the street and my brain subconsciously will be categorising passers by into a variety of determined factors. I’m not always aware of these factors, but when I focus on them I can figure out certain things, threats, attractiveness, disgust. Basic human instincts. This is something I imagine most people do, for their own safety and interest. But for me it is a very intense process. After all my brain is trying to determine everything that makes a person tick with just a glance. Human beings are so complicated and distilling their entire being down to a few categories is not only impossible but also immoral. I know that I shouldn’t do this, it’s messed up and short sighted. But this is largely subconscious and is ultimately a defence mechanism. I try my best to not be judgemental of people, I don’t know them and I know I can’t fully capture everything about them. Everyone is different.

But despite this, one category I find myself attributing to people is their level of normality. And by that I don’t mean being alternative, trust me, there are plenty of edgy types who are perfectly normal, they just might not see it that way. And there are plenty of people who may appear normal and fine from the outside but are actually deeply unusual. And once again there are outliers. I can assume something and be caught totally wrong about them. Normality, like autism, is a spectrum. So why does the phrase “there’s no such thing as normal” infuriate me so?

It’s a difficult to answer question but I think that when I am categorising these people it comes from a place of loneliness. I’ve never met anyone who can fully comprehend everything I say, do and think. I’ve never met anybody who fully “got” me. I went to a special needs school full of people with autism and even there I was bullied and treated as an outcast. So I think perhaps this all comes from my desire to be understood and recognised. I have family and friends who love me and I love them, but I still feel that they do not fully understand, not that they don’t try to. My categorising of people is ultimately a goal to find someone just as weird as I am. And I know there are people weirder than me, and people more normal than me. I can tell by looking at them, remember? This isn’t an “oh my life is terrible” post. I know that there are people whose struggles I will never understand. I am very privileged and lucky to have what I have in life. But there is a tiny niche that I fit into on the normality scale. And out of 8 billion people on earth, I’ve only ever found myself in that niche. And that is something that breaks me.

I hope you’ve enjoyed this look into my psyche, it’s been very much an exploration of my thoughts so it may seem jumbled. Now? I’m off to bed.

Peace, Love & Cowbells,


Listening to Pop Music as an Alternative Music Fan: Emma Kelly – Under Pressure

Hey Folks!

Thought I would take a break from the usual “wall of distortion” bands that I usually review to talk about something rather controversial to the alternative music scene. Pop music. Adored by the masses and hated by the alternatives. I consider myself to be an alternative music fan, anything weird and I’m usually down! But lately, I’ve been listening to more and more pop music. I’ve always believed that even in alternative music, bands need to retain an element of pop. But when I was sent Emma Kelly’s new single “Under Pressure” I found myself listening to a highly produced, catchy pop track. And you know what? I enjoyed it!

Truth be told I don’t know enough about pop music to know which artists Emma Kelly is drawing from here. But I really enjoyed the track, it uses some really interesting instrumentation, such as the lo-fi strings in the introduction, contrasting the high production value of the rest of the song. I also really enjoyed the pre-chorus, it reminded me quite a bit of Dodie, another highly underrated pop artist I like. Under Pressure has the layers of synthesisers you’d hear on many tracks such as this which add some great atmosphere. The performances are all quality, Emma’s voice has a lot of character to it, however I felt that perhaps if the voice had been less hyper-produced during certain sections it may have had a bit more impact. My favourite part of the track has to be the bridge. This is where a lot of the layers pull back to really allow Emma’s voice to shine and the chords have a lot of weight to them. This is where the emotion really hits me and I applaud Emma for some simple but impactful lyrics. Lines such “my biggest saboteur is my everyday reflection” really evokes the self doubt and the pressure this song is written about.

I was a bit disappointed by the chorus, not only does it take far too long to get there, but it’s not overly singable. It’s over a minute and a half before the main full chorus kicks in, with a half chorus during the introduction. I really like the verse, I love the bridge, but pop music is centred around those chorus hooks. I definitely think this is a brave decision and I love the progressive nature of the choice, but if Emma Kelly wants to find a mass audience then she needs to focus on writing tunes that won’t get out of people’s heads.

Overall I thoroughly enjoyed this track. The production and performances are both superb and that bridge alone is to die for! That section alone makes this song worthy of your playlists. In fact, I’m going to include a new category in reviews going forward “worthy of your playlists”. I have never and will never give a number to rate something as complex as a record, but see this as a badge of approval from me. Stick that in your resume Emma!

Listening to pop music, as someone who just a few years ago wouldn’t be caught dead listening to tracks such as this, is not a bad thing. Any music that gets you to dance and singalong is to be applauded as its own unique art and should be appreciated along with all forms of music. So well done Emma, I look forward to hearing more from you!

Peace, Love and Cowbells,


Fuzzed In, Drugged Out – San Pedro’s Vision: Elysium

San Pedro’s Vision, old friends of Needs More Cowbell, are back with a profoundly good EP, titled Elysium. Over its four tracks, SPV runs the gambit from atmospheric synth sounds, chilled, delicate guitar licks, to San Pedro’s Vision’s signature blistering psychedelic rock heaviness.

The main tracks, Elysium, 1422, and Merkabah all seem to have a similar concept. The tracks start delicately, with layers of synthesisers and gentle lead guitar work. Over time they build in intensity, adding simple drum beats and eerie vocals, before launching into fuzzed in, drugged out riffage. The tracks are very long indeed, evoking the feeling of those classic pink Floyd and Cream albums we all know and love. But the record still feels fresh. There are some very 1980’s bass and synth breaks, which I just adore in this context. There are also some ideas pinched from the 90’s alternative rock scene, particularly from a vocal standpoint. The best rock music in my opinion is never rooted in just one moment, for a song to become timeless the listener must have no idea when the song was recorded. That is something I feel SPV have accomplished here, and I applaud them for it.

The musicianship demonstrated is certainly top tier, in both songwriting and performance. The keyboard work, especially on the latter half of 1422, is excellent. I love how all the elements interact to create a monstrous crescendo at the midway point of this track followed by that awesome descending pattern, backed up by monstrous drum fills.

The intro to the title track, Elysium is so jammy, I’ve fallen in love with the guitar lick so prominent in the first third of the track, and it’s expanded upon as the track builds, though it does start to lose me towards the end with an overly long guitar solo.

Humana is the third track on the EP, but mostly functions as an intro to the final and longest track, Merkabah, but it is quite effective, and I enjoyed the speech overlapping the track.

Merkabah is clearly an effort for the band, spanning eleven and a half minutes, it’s a behemoth of a song. I’d absolutely love to hear this live. For my short attention span, long songs like this can become a bit tiresome, but in a live setting, this must truly be an experience. San Pedro’s Vision deserve a KEXP session right now, just so I can watch a video of the band absolutely jamming out to their amazing body of work.

My only question with this EP is that there isn’t much in the way of vocals. There were moments where I was singing vocal parts that I felt should have been there. There is also the fact that while this EP is certainly an experience, it falls into the classic trope of overuse of guitar. Overly long solo’s, sections where the guitar should have plainly just stayed silent. I’m not saying guitar is bad, but some restraint would have been better. I feel a full album of similar material would become rather dull towards the end, so I encourage the band to switch things up, and I’d love to see some world instruments used.

San Pedro’s Vision are onto a winning combination with the Elysium EP. I thoroughly enjoyed the experience and heartily recommend that all my readers check them out. Elysium releases on the 18th March 2022.

Peace, Love & Cowbells,


A Song Worthy of Obscenities.

“Bloody Hell!”

That’s what I said to myself in the first few seconds of hearing The Imaginary Friends new single “The Golden Age of the Narcissist”

And let me tell you, folks, the obscenities didn’t end there. TIF’s blend of fuzzy noise rock and gothic post-punk is hauntingly superb. This track goes from eery and mysterious to a boisterous, screaming blister, all played at an ear-splitting volume. There are multiple sections, building off and adding to each other brilliantly, and despite all the noise, The Imaginary Friends have maintained a sense of dynamics. This is a band to watch.

First, the foundation of every band, a good drummer. The drums are pounded with such ferocity, and the tone is just superb, I’d love to hear how they got a drum sound like that. The production overall is insane, sounding more like something you would hear in an action film trailer than anything else. Layers of synthesisers give the song an experimental vibe, which I adore. The bass provides a thundering low end while the guitars sound like an erupting fuzz volcano. There are so many layers that I can’t keep up. Every time I listen, I can focus on a different aspect of the track. Vocally it is very interesting, going all over the spectrum of tone. Sometimes it is sung at a rumbling, powerful, gothic tonality, while at others it almost sounds like something a late 2000’s alt-rock vocalist would belt out, though still maintaining a sense of power that is unlike anything I have ever heard. It’s wonderfully characteristic and I am so excited to hear more from this band. I do however have a couple of complaints, the main offender of which being the fact that this song CANNOT be played at full or even three-quarter volume without potentially really damaging your ears. I’ve got mine at just over half volume and I can’t hear anything other than the track. I’m all for noise, but not at the risk of hurting someone. Extended listening to this at full volume can and will cause irreparable damage to one’s hearing and I beg the band to turn this mix down to a reasonable decibel. The second issue I have is that it is a bit obvious lyrically. I would have much more enjoyed a humorous take on a diss at narcissism. Intensity and darkness can work very well, but you need to balance these things. Darkness is only truly dark when compared to light. But the lyrics we do have are written well with some interesting phrases.

Overall, The Golden Age of the Narcissist is expertly written, produced, arranged, and performed. Top-quality stuff, folks. There are some issues, but in the face of what The Imaginary Friends get right, I can hardly notice them. There is no such thing as a perfect song, but this is a track that I will look at and compare other songs to within its genre. If the mixing issue is resolved, this could very easily find itself as track of the year for me and many others. And I’m writing this in mid-January. Check out the single when it releases on the 16th February 2022.

Peace, Love & Cowbells,


Hidden Recordings From Nearly 40 Years Ago: The Rose of Avalanche At The BBC

As a huge fan of the era, the opportunity to review a new album recorded in the early 1980s is certainly an exciting one. It is my great pleasure to write for The Rose of Avalanche and the release of their previously unreleased BBC sessions for both John Peel and Janice Long. No mucking about with long introductions this time folks, this band is from Leeds, and they might kick my teeth in if I don’t get straight to what is most important, the music.

Here are my thoughts on The Rose of Avalanche At The BBC.

The album starts off with “Goddess” – a noisy blend of stooges style punk n roll guitar and gothic drums and keys, a combination I am so excited about, it is something I am very eager to try in my own work. Even vocally the singer manages to achieve an awesome blend between Lou Reed, Andrew Eldritch and Iggy Pop, something he will continue to do over the course of the entire record. Track 2 “A Thousand Landscapes” sounds very much descended from gothic rock legends but doesn’t quite reach the dizzying heights that a band like The Sisters of Mercy can take you to. Track 5, Rise to the Groove, has a brilliant horror punk/psychobilly vibe and is a nice change of pace.

Just before the halfway point of the BBC sessions features one of the band’s hits, Velveteen, which while not technically terrible, it’s a sound already covered by bands from the same era, if not before. It’s essentially a blend of The Smiths, The Jesus and Mary Chain and Led Zeppelin. I’m not entirely sure of when this track was written, so it could have been very ahead of its time. But looking at it in the modern era, it feels quite cheap and derivative.

Ultimately, the BBC sessions continue in a similar fashion. Over time I begin to become quite bored with the constant jumping off to different styles of post-punk. The band clearly didn’t have a particular focus at the time of these sessions and were very much of the time. I kept waiting for a twist that just didn’t seem to appear. There are some good moments, I enjoyed the Lou Reed styling of the vocals in Stick in The Words, but the album feels both unfocused and one dimensional, which is rather strange, but it seems appropriate. The songs are all variations on a theme, and originality is scarce. I did however quite enjoy “Not Another Day” despite some production issues. From a songwriting perspective, it has an impact that a lot of the other tracks lack. In fact, I notice that towards the end of the BBC sessions, the songwriting does certainly improve, but the production gets certainly worse. “Dreamland” has an almost shoegaze level of guitar volume and the vocals just get drowned. I’m certain these were recorded at a different time and place. If it weren’t for the mixing issues present on these last few tracks it would certainly bump the record up for me as I do really like the songs.

All this time I was waiting to hear the legendary LA Rain, a track favoured by John Peel. Which ultimately, is a great tune, but this version retains the mixing issues prevalent throughout the latter half of the record. The vocals seem to duck in and out volume-wise, and it is very distracting. I really want to hear a version of this with a decent mix. The excuse that it is a live recording doesn’t really cut it for me. There are many well-mixed live albums and for the band to release this in this state doesn’t sit well with me.

The Rose of Avalanche At The BBC remains a decent listen for hardcore fans of the genre, but I urge the band to do a modern high-quality recording of some of these tracks, especially those on the last third of the record. I really want to hear what John Peel heard in this all those years ago, and that can only be achieved with a decent recording. Get on it!

Peace, Love & Cowbells,


Good Creates Good

Heya Folks,

I thought today I would tell you a story.

I was 17, at a deeply dark time in my life, living in a homeless hostel, having messed up my entire life only a few months prior. I was an angry person, humbled and broken by my experiences but did not yet have the maturity to turn that into action to improve my life. I was being regularly tormented by a fellow delinquent living across the hall. This boy will remain nameless, but he was the right hand man, the henchman of my school bully, whose gang had ruined much of my childhood. In this hostel, at the low point of my entire life. This thug lived across the hall from me, in an equally tiny and shitty bedsit. At night I would be woken to howls and screams coming from outside my door. And in the morning I would open it to find it pelted with eggs, flour and whatever else he and his cronies could get their hands on. Notes would be posted underneath my door, and I regularly found condoms wrapped around my door handle, in some childish attempt at a prank. I was left so terrified I would be too scared to leave my room. But I didn’t have my own bathroom, what I had convinced myself was a demon living across the hall and I shared a bathroom, along with most of our floor, which was right next to his room. In one of my nerve wracked trips to this bathroom, I found a watch wrapped around the radiator. A seemingly expensive watch. I wondered if it was fake, I had no way of telling of course. But I was desperate for money and I thought about selling it as I wandered back into my flat. And yet I found myself walking across the hall and knocking on the demons door. He opened, and before he could say anything I asked him if the watch I had found was his.

In a moment his eyes lit up and he burst into a barrage of thanks. He told me how he’d been so upset that he had lost the watch, how it had been a gift from a relative and meant so much to him. And I realised in that moment that this demon, this monster, was in fact human. I handed him the watch and walked back into my room to continue my day.

He never bothered me again.

I sometimes wonder if I am a bad person. That the mistakes I have made undo the good person I try to be. But looking back now. If I, at the lowest point of my entire existence, on the verge of suicide, can be kind to someone I had hated since I was old enough to hate. Then I’d like to think I am indeed, a “good” person.

Peace, Love & Cowbells,


An Album To Take You Home: Eleni Drake

Morning Folks,

It’s four in the morning and I’m currently listening to Eleni Drake, an artist I discovered not two hours ago via a YouTube cover of hers. Her latest record “Can’t Stop The Dawn” is a sensation of familiarity and comfort yet is kept fresh by superb songwriting. Every now and then, a certain artist will hook me in. Usually, it’s a single with a particularly catchy or unique aspect to it. It is very rare when I can sit and listen to a previously unheard full album with no breaks. To compare, the last time this happened was for Neil Young’s “Harvest” two years ago. But I have to say, Eleni, I am entranced.

“Tense Tranquillity” is the term I am going to use to describe the sensation that the sublime Eleni Drake is serving listeners on this album. Wonderful, delicate guitar work underpins the entire record, but the vocal melodies are so hauntingly beautiful and eery. The ability to create tension and release in songwriting is such a difficult skill to develop and Eleni demonstrates her mastery of this on every single track. On the other end of the spectrogram, I ADORE the bass playing across the entire album. It’s so wonderfully placed, restrained and oh so impactful. There is other instrumentation used across the record, always used with restraint and always to serve the song. Some sounds I can’t even identify which instrument is making them, such as the drone on the opening track “Sun Bear”. It seems like every piece of this puzzle was so carefully constructed to fit into every place.

This is most definitely a guitar players album. And while in most cases, to have one instrument stand above the rest would be a detriment to the vibe of a record, Eleni seems to have that Marr-esque quality to know exactly what to play at any given moment. It truly shocks me that she, a lefty, is playing this well on a right-handed guitar flipped upside down. That is not to deny her superb vocal performance, I absolutely love the use of harmonies on tracks such as “Ribbons” and there are some great lyrical moments. The opening lines to “Sun Bear” give me chills.

I’d absolutely love an insight into the production of this album, everything sounds perfect and is mixed to perfection. I can hear every single part of the instrumentation both separately and as a whole piece. That is a sure-fire sign of a great mix. Getting the interwoven guitar parts, especially with heavy use of reverb to sit correctly with everything else is truly an accomplishment.

This truly is a perfect record. It’s not overly catchy, but who says it must be? “Can’t Stop The Dawn” is drenched in charm and atmosphere. I’d love to hear this live. Finding Eleni Drake is so exciting to me, as a sound guy for an open mic in my home city of Derby, the discovery process here has been exactly like sitting behind the desk and hearing an absolutely astonishing performance out of a sea of other mediocre singer-songwriters.. This is not a genre I am overly engrossed in, but I immediately want to find more like this. The only caveat I would add is that I would not wish to hear a second album from Eleni with a similar soundscape, otherwise, the overabundance of guitar, while superb, can get stale. I really want to see her sound develop in new ways and I will be following her career with interest going forward. If there is one thing I can say about this album, it is that it takes me home. With all the comfort that brings.

Peace, Love & Cowbells,


The Plan

Hey Folks!

It’s the time of year where everyone makes plans, sorts out their resolutions and prepares for the year ahead. I would like to do the same. This is the year where it all starts. I’ve got a game plan for my career, and I plan on taking this little blog as high as possible. In this post, I will explain my goals, my plans for achieving them and the obstacles in my path. Let’s do this.

What do I want to achieve? So many things, but all of them revolve around growing my reach, building Needs More Cowbell as a platform and becoming worthy of note in this industry. Starting this summer there will be three blog posts a week, regular YouTube content and I will begin work on longer-term projects, albums, documentaries, a music festival. I have so many ideas for projects to work on, and with every new one, I plan to top the last. I want to consistently improve and make the best content I can. The future is looking very exciting creatively and I only hope I can keep up with the work.

Further adding to the list of things to do, one of my larger shortcomings is my musical inability. I’m not a particularly good musician in the traditional sense. I can create music, I know a lot about certain aspects of music, but I’ve never been anything more than an average bass player. It’s been seven years since I first picked up my instrument and I know I should be better by now. I always played with the mindset of “playing when I feel like it” but I never subjected myself to regular rigorous practice. This too will change. I will be setting out a practice schedule for both bass and guitar, covering everything from ear training and theory to rhythm and songwriting. It’s a big task, but I want to one day look in the mirror and be proud that I am a master of my craft. It might take a decade or three, but I am determined to reach the level of my heroes.

The thing that worries me the most about this plan is how sustainable it is, I am an autistic person, prone to burn out and can get easily overwhelmed. I need to be aware of my needs and factor in rest time. If I can work six to eight hours a day and take weekends off, that will already be a huge leap from where I am now. It’s a scary and daunting prospect. Taking care of my physical health is important too, I need to make sure I am eating healthily, doing exercise, and sleeping well. I’m going to be spending large amounts of time in front of a screen, editing videos, producing tracks, writing posts, I need to make sure I take breaks and take steps to not ruin my posture slouching in a chair all day. I am confident with enough effort that I can do anything, but it may be a bumpy ride and I have no doubt I will have to take chunks of time off to recuperate.

Thank you for reading, I am certain that I will have a long future in music, but what form that takes I am unsure, it is a time of uncertainty. But no matter what, I am grateful to have my dear readers along for the journey.

Peace, Love and Cowbells,


Ambition VS: Disability

Hey folks, forgive a ramble. Facing the reality of being too ill to do something is not easy for me. I’ve always thought that no matter what, if I try hard enough I can achieve it. But I’m faced with the reality of wanting to go and study a masters in Brighton, at a music school that looks amazing. But without being able to work due to my disability, only a small amount of disability benefit to live off and the Tory government phasing out housing benefit… One of my dreams won’t be happening. Maybe one day I’ll be in a position where I can work. I have within the last few months started volunteering at a local studio, but it’s low pressure, in a field I enjoy and if I am unwell I can bail out at any moment. Life feels very uncertain right now. I want to do so much, I want to succeed. I’m an ambitious person. I’ve got other plans of course. I’ve just set up a charity music festival in my hometown of Derby, Cowbell has a small but growing following, and I’m about to release my debut album. Life is good. I’m in a position where I can create music and art every single day if I choose to. Many people would love to be where I am and I am so grateful to be living somewhere safe and warm and able to create. But the thing that always kills me is that I KNOW without this condition I could do so much more. And yes I know, my experiences have no doubt shaped me into who I am and I wouldn’t be nearly as good a person without them. And I’d rather be a good person than a capable one. My life is not a bad one. But it’s not easy. And I wish I could do more.

Peace, Love & Cowbells,