Autism.

Well gang, after literal decades, twenty years to be exact, they’ve finally figured it out. A life time of doctors appointments, psychiatrists, teachers, councillors and even parts of my own family all telling me I’m wrong and mentally unstable, that I need to get over myself and man up. Failed friendships and relationships, years of torment from school bullies. For years I thought it was my fault and I was just a freak. Well now I’m telling all of them to go fuck themselves. I had a 5 and a half hour assessment today and I’ve had a diagnosis for autism. Now I have an answer. After an entire life of self hatred and pain. I have something to tell me that it’s not my fault I’m this way. That I’m not the freak I’ve been made out to be my whole life. I in-fact have a genuine disability. And now I know that I can relax and be myself rather than try to hide and pretend to be normal. I finally have a reason and an answer for who I am. I finally will be able to sleep at night knowing that all those fuckers were wrong and I am not the problem they made me out to be. I am me and that is a great thing. Now when I struggle I can explain it. That gives me a sense of power over my disability and will in time, allow me to master it. Thank you to those who’ve supported me. Fuck you to those who’ve destroyed me. I’m building myself back up. This snowflakes a fucking avalanche and I refuse to be beaten.

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